Saturday, April 28, 2012

A Day In The Life of Me by Christina Askin Richter

I’ve often found myself rolling my eyes and scoffing at the latest craze in technology thinking, “What Will they come up with next??” Well my friends, I tell you that tonight, I got down on my knees, puckered up and kissed the almighty God of Technology’s little bumbum.

It was a beautiful evening, so I decide to take my mini me's for a walk, nothing out of the ordinary, right? I also thought, seeing as we live below my parents, I would take their dog Rosie for a walk (they had gone to town). I was advised against it, due to invisible fence issues and such. Anyhoo…we’re already up there, so we go out the garage door. Nice thing those garage doors, huh? Just push the little button and tadaaaa. It’s a fine piece of machinery. Not so handy though when you’re on the outside, with no button OR key to get in. Whoops! I think, well...maybe I can time it and get back from our walk just in time for my parents to return from town and open the door. Voila! Perfect solution. We go on merry little way and take our walk. Tra la la, la laaaa. 

Halfway home, I realize I have to go...really bad. I tell Kaiden this which turns on his water works and he asks to go pee in the bush. Sure…why not…I’m not doing anything. I however, will NOT pee in the bush as I always somehow end up peeing on my socks and shoes and frankly...just, no. The closer we get to the house, the more urgency I feel in needing to go. We get back to the house, no parents. Uh oh...(@_@) I'm standing there trying to look as inconspicuous as possible to cars passing, I would like to think I looked statuesque with my back straight, head up, hand on hip, feet, legs and cheeks squeezed ever so tightly together. As I'm standing there, all kinds of thoughts are running through my head, wondering if there's a bucket somewhere, a cup, a freakin’ take out bag. My thoughts start turning more aggressive to smashing a window or patio door. Oh the stories that Kaiden would tell at school if I did any of this. I texted my parents asking if they were still in town and when they replied “Yes” I had that moment where everything just zooms out when you come to a horrific realization. I think, Dear God, I’m going to pee in my pants. They reply with “Why?” So I tell them my situation…feeling horrible that they would have to cut their town trip short to come and rescue me and my, by then soiled self. 

But wait! Da duh duh daaaa!!! My superhero parents msg me with the code to open my dads truck, which has what? That’s RIGHT! A garage door opener!!! Happy dance! Happy dance! Well, as much as I could happy dance with everything so tightly clenched. The door opens, we get inside and I…I, am still dry. *fist pump*

No comments:

Post a Comment