Monday, April 9, 2012

ONE TOO MANY - Non Fiction By Veronica Marie Lewis-Shaw

WARNING - MATURE CONTENT - must be accompanied by an adult.

(Author's note - This is one of my earlier writing efforts ( outside of my personal journals which I have writng since I was six) when I got it in my head that I could be a (drum roll please....) 'WRITER!' I'm not sure exactly when writing about my personal 'adventures' morphed into noir fiction, but Tina is a lot happier when I write fiction. Haha! I hope you enjoy this story. It was definitely more fun to write than it was to live through. Thank you. vmls)

By Veronica Marie Lewis

January 29, 2010

Alice and I are down at Jake’s place, working on our 4th Panty Dropper, and I just signaled Jake for another round.  When we first walked in, Jake wasn‘t going to let us stay; or at least, not Alice.  Alice isn’t quite 21, but she has some really good fake ID, and she looks a good five years older than her real age.  I think Tina must have warned Jake about Alice though, because he was all like, “Hey Ronnie!  Come on, honey!  You know you can’t bring her in here!”   To which I replied, “Jake… sweetie!  It’s been a long week.  I need to unwind.  Tina was supposed to be back from Seattle, and she isn’t!  I want to have a little fun!  You are not going to make me go all “VML”, are you?”   “VML” is code for “there is going to be some public nudity, and most likely, dancing on the bar in at least a partial state of undress, and some lucky patron is going to go home with a pair of my slightly damp panties!”  And, there is a good chance a photo or two of the evening’s events might show up on someone’s MySpace page, considering the fact that every flippin’ cell phone has a camera!  But, I’ve already had a couple glasses of merlot, and I don’t really give a damn!

So, Jake gave in… I knew he would, considering the alternative.  The ID is really good, so he won’t take any heat, as long as he just plays dumb.  But, a “VML” incident could, most likely would, bring the OLCC hounds breathing down Jake’s neck.  I lean over the bar and give Jake a little peck on the cheek.  “Thanks sweetie… love you!”  To Alice, “Okay, honey… let’s go to bathroom and take off our panties so we can dance!”  We are both wearing short, short skirts.  I turn back to Jake and give him a little wink.  “Ronnie, please behave tonight…please!!” Jake pleads.  Muaahh!

So, are we having fun?!  Wheeee!!!  Haha!  Yes, we are!!  A coin toss decided the drink of the evening – Screaming Orgasms or Panty Droppers.  Alice won the toss, so Panty Droppers it is!  And, round one of our new favorite game – “I’d Do Her!” 

Blame it on the booze, but I can’t recall if it was between our second and third or third and fourth Panty Dropper, that I went searching for Alice’s tonsils with my tongue.  Hey, it wasn’t my fault!  Besides, it’s not like Alice and I have never kissed before.  Believe me… Alice enjoyed it just as much, probably even more, than I did. 

There were these two guys hitting on us and wouldn’t believe that we were lesbians, and not interested in them.  “Aww.. .you’re kidding, right?  Two beautiful women like you?  No way are you two lesbos!  You could have any man you want!” was moron number one’s observation.  Yeah, right!  Only ugly girls are lesbians, cuz they can’t get guys!  What a fuckhead!! 

Yeah, I’m probably going to regret this in the morning, but right now?  Alice is a really good kisser, and I need a little affection.

So, you are probably wondering why I am in a bar with Tina’s under-age sister, getting bombed on Panty Droppers and kissing Alice like it was our wedding night.  Okay, here is my tale of woe… 


When Tina promised to cut back on the amount of work she was bringing home with her, so the two of us could have more time together – and I in return, promised to cut back on my online time – I didn’t realize how short-lived her promise to spend more time with me would be.

For the last several weeks now, Tina has been out of town on business once a week.  She has been filling in for a recently vacated position in the Seattle office, going up there to keep everything “on track”, whatever the hell that means!  To be perfectly honest, I would rather have her here, nose buried in work, than out of town.  Sure, Alice is still here to keep me company, but let’s face it; Alice cannot –although she would most certainly like to try – satisfy all my needs.

This past week, Tina went up Thursday and was supposed to come back home Friday evening.  Well, here it is Friday evening and where is Tina?  Still in Seattle!  Damn!  We were supposed to go out!  We were supposed to have a nice date to make up for her dragging me to that crushingly boring dinner party with her office co-workers.  Only after, of course, eliciting a promise from me to behave.  I could have not promised and gotten out of it, but Tina would have been seriously ticked.  See, they are all a bunch of conservative, up-tight Republicans, and could I have some fun with that?!  You bet your sweet little ass I could! 

Now, I don’t mean to denigrate Republicans.  Please don’t take me wrong.  The fact that her co-workers are all Republican is really incidental.  These people are humorless, stick-up-the-ass federal employees. And, since everyone has to have some political bent, and the Democrats and Independents wouldn’t take them that left the Blue Team.  But, I digress…

Tina was supposed to be back home this evening.  But, she called earlier and announced that she was going to have to stay in Seattle another day.  Damn!  Damn!  Damn!  Well, guess what?  Veronica is going out!!


So, here we are at Jakes, both of us totally bombed!!  I should know better than to try and match Alice drink for drink.  I really am a light-weight when it comes to hard liquor.  And, I should remember from past experiences while I was still in college, that sloe gin really hits me hard.  It is like my Waterloo.

Anyway, we make it through the 5th round and are ready for another.  But, Jake says “Nope, sorry Ronnie!  You girls are cut off!  Tina is going to kill me if she finds out, you know.  It is time for you both to go home. I’ve already called a cab.  You’re done for the night!”  “Aww… come on Jake!  Sweetie!!  I’ll show you my boobs!  Hey, Ali!  Show Jake your titties, hun!” I say.  Damn!  It would be a lot easier talking to Jake if he would stand still!  Ha-ha!  Oh, fuck!  I am so wasted!!

“Ha!” replies Jake.  “You girls just keep your clothes on for another five minutes, you hear me?”  Party Pooper!!  Fine!  Your loss… The cabbie walks in just then and Alice helps me out to the cab.  I seem to be having just a teeny, tiny, bit of trouble remaining vertical!  Ha-ha!!

I don’t remember a whole lot after that.  The next thing I know, I am waking up with a pounding headache.  I pry my eyelids open and turn my head to look at the alarm clock… 10:37 AM.  Oh!  Damn!  That hurts!!  A bolt of pain shoots through my temples.

I close my eyes and roll over on my back to take stock.  Okay, a pounding headache, but a handful of Excedrin will take care of that.  At least, my tummy isn’t rebelling.  God!!  I hate it when I throw up!!

Oh-oh!  As my body wakes up more, I become aware of other sensations.  My nipples are sore and my lips feel kind of puffy and bruised.  More so than they should feel from the little bit of kissing Alice and I did at the bar last night.  Oh God!  What did I do?  As I continue the little mental checklist, I’m aware of stickiness between my thighs and I realize the bedding underneath me is damp, and… I am completely naked!!  Oh!  Let’s not forget… my mouth tastes like pussy!  Oh, fuck! Fuck!  Fuck!  Fuck!  Veronica… What have you done?!

 In that same instant, I become aware that I am not the only person in this bed.  Whew!!!  Thank God!  Tina got back in the middle of the night and I was so drunk I can’t even remember that we made love.  My heart rate returns to normal.  I raise myself up a little, turning to her… and freeze!!  OH… MY… GOD!!!  Dark hair?  No!!  Tina is a blonde. 

I lie back down and pull the covers over me.  My heart starts pounding again and I feel the panic rising in me.  Oh god… oh god… oh god… oh god… oh god!!  What have you done?  What have you done, Veronica?! 

I am fully awake now and in a state of near panic.  Trying to think of some rational explanation, my brain seizes on this… Okay, that is not Alice lying next to me.  I picked up some girl in the bar because I was so horny and both Alice and I know that she and I can never cross that line.  Yeah, that is probably not the most rational thought I have ever had, huh?  And, by the way Ronnie… since when do you pick up girls in bars?  You might leave a trail of broken hearts in your wake, but you never bring someone home.

Just then, whoever it is in bed with me turns over to my side.  With dread, I turn my head so my eyes can confirm what my heart already knows.  I find myself staring into Alice’s sleeping face.  FUCK!!!  God! Veronica… would you stop saying that word?  It’s bad enough that you did it!!  I quietly roll over on to my tummy and burrow down under the covers.  It’s over!  It’s all over.  Everything is undone.  I have fucked up for the last time!  It’s karma; that is what it is.  Karma!  After what I did in… oh fuck!  What’s the point in bringing that up now?

I’m dead!  That’s it… I am dead!  Tina is going to kill me!  She will probably kill Alice too, but I’m going to go first.  I might as well go pack my bags right now and get out of Dodge.  If I don’t use my plastic, it could take Tina some time to track me down.    Hey, Regan!  Honey!  What’s up, sweetie?  Want a slightly used girlfriend?  A lot of fun to be with, but not quite 100% faithful?   No?  That’s okay… I understand…

I wonder if it would do any good to get on my knees and beg Tina for mercy.  Sigh!!  Probably not.  I’ve broken a promise.  I deserve whatever is waiting for me.  Maybe Tina will give me a last cigarette and a blindfold.  Ha-ha!  That’s it, Ronnie… chin up, girl!

Suddenly, my stomach starts rumbling.  Lying on my tummy wasn’t such a good idea.  Oh God!  I am going to be sick!!  I throw back the covers and make a mad dash for the bathroom.  Barely making it in time, I drop to my knees and heave!  Thank God, someone left the lid up!  My stomach convulses again… and again!  And… again!!  Oh God!  I want to die!!  I don’t remember what we had to eat last night, but it tastes like vomit coming back up.  That thought makes me retch again.

I must make a pretty pathetic sight… hunched over the toilet, naked, vomit dripping out of my mouth and nose, my hair a matted mess, tears streaming down my cheeks.  What’s the expression…? “Praying to the Porcelain Goddess?”  Yep!  That’s me, praying… oh god, oh god, oh god!  Make it stop!  Please!

I kneel, hunched over the toilet for a long time, waiting for my stomach to settle back down.  When it seems safe, I rise unsteadily to my feet and flush the toilet, then make my way to the sink and wash up.  Oh God!  My mouth tastes like… My stomach gives another lurch!  Okay, don’t think it… don’t think it!  I swish some mouthwash around, being careful not to swallow any… that’s all I need.  Then, I lower the lid and sit back down on the toilet for a few minutes, trying to compose myself and figure out what the hell I am going to do next.

I guess I should at least take a shower and get dressed.  Maybe the condemned will get a last meal.  Ha-ha!  A little gallows humor!  I turn on the shower, getting the water as hot as I can take it and then just stand under the spray until I start to feel something like normal.

I turn off the shower and step out, pulling one of the big bath towels off the shelf and drying myself.  I drop the towel on the floor… That’s right, Mama.  I still leave my towels on the floor for someone else to pick up.  See?  It wasn’t just you!
Walking out to the kitchen, I pour myself a glass of orange juice.  Draining the glass, I head back to the bedroom when I hear a key turn in the front door.  I freeze!!  Tina?  Oh god… oh god… oh god!  What do I do?  What do I do?!  Damn!  Damn!  Damn!  I can’t move.  I’m frozen where I stand, naked as the day I was born!

Tina comes in, closing the door behind her.  “Hey, baby!!  I missed you so much!!  Did you and Alice have fun last night?” Tina asks, apparently not overly concerned that I am running around naked.

I can only stare wide-eyed in horror at Tina, my mouth hanging open!  Oh God!  What do I say? “Oh yeah, we fucked!  Alice is really great in bed!  Thanks for leaving the two of us alone here.”   Oh no! Fuck!   The orange juice is coming back up!  I’m going to be sick again!  I clasp a hand over my mouth and run for the bathroom!

My stomach is already pretty empty and after a couple of heaves, there isn’t anything left to throw up.  The bathroom reeks of vomit, and I turn on the fan.  After cleaning up again, I sit on the edge of the tub, considering what to do next.  A heart attack!  That’s what I need… a heart attack.  Or… better yet, and I get to stay with Tina.  I slip on the wet floor and hit my head on the corner of the lavatory.  I then fall into a coma and when I wake up years later, I remember nothing but my undying love for Tina, who has stayed by my side all those years!  Yeah… that could work!

Just then, I hear voices outside the bathroom door, but no one calls out to me.  I move over to the door, but do not open it.  Alice and Tina are talking in low voices.

“So, should we tell her?”  I hear Alice ask Tina.  Tell her what? 

“No, let’s not.  Not right now, anyway.” Tina answers.  “Let’s let her think she had sex with you last night, instead of me.  Veronica needs to learn a lesson here.  She violated a very important rule last night, taking you out drinking.  That can’t go unpunished.  We’ll let her worry and fret a while.” 

WTF!!  Nothing happened between me and Alice last night? We did not have sex?  It was Tina?  Damn!  I should have recognized that taste in my mouth.   This was all a big setup?  OH… MY… GOD!!  Grrrr!!!  I am going to kick their asses so hard… I start to reach for the doorknob, then stop.  Okay, wait a sec!  Let’s think about this for a minute.

Tina continues.  “I want to see how long it takes her to “confess” to having sex with you.  If I know Veronica as well as I think I do, she will before the day is over.  Meanwhile, you and I need to have a serious talk.  You know better, Ali!  What possessed you to go along with Veronica last night?”

I move away from the door; I don’t need to hear anymore.  So, that’s the way it is, huh?  

Okay, now it’s my turn to have a little fun!!!!!   Muaahh!!!

I step back over to the toilet and flush it, then make a production out of unlocking the bathroom door (which wasn’t even locked to begin with) to give the two of them time to get away from the door.  I don’t want them to know I heard their little conversation.

Tina and Alice have retreated to the kitchen and when I walk in, I feign modesty at the sight of Alice, moving my hands up to cover my “goodies”.  “Oops!” I say, putting a look of surprise on my face.

“Maybe you’d like to put some clothes on, missy!” Tina says, with just a trace of a smile on her lips.  Alice can’t take her eyes off of me, moving across the kitchen to get a better look at my butt.

“Yeah, maybe I…” I say, breaking off.  I turn to Alice.  “Oh, what the hell!  Honey, let’s just tell Tina and get it over with, huh?  Aren’t you tired of hiding this from her?  I am!”

Oh My God!  Ha-ha!  The looks on their faces are priceless!! I am trying really hard not to start laughing, and the little smirk Tina had a few moments ago has been wiped off.  Poor Alice doesn’t know what to think.  I feel a little bit sorry for her, but she is a co-conspirator and it wouldn’t be fair to Tina if I spared Alice.

I step over to Alice and wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her close and pressing my naked body against hers.  “C’mon, Lover!” I say.  “Let’s go back to bed.  I wasn’t done with you!” I purr in her ear.  I look over at Tina.  “You don’t mind, do you, hun?  I mean, I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but it’s really for the best.  We had a nice run, you and I, but” (flash of inspiration here) “well, you’re almost 31 and Alice is not even 21.  So…”  I flash a big smile.

“Ha-ha! Ha!  Very funny!” Tina replies.  “Very funny, missy!  Heard everything, did you?  Hmm?  I bet you think… Alice!  Don’t you even think about it!!” 

I turn my attention back to Alice, who has her left arm around my waist – well, actually, her hand is almost on my ass – and her right hand is poised right over my naked breast.  Looking Alice right in the eye, I give her a little smile and say “Yes?”  Without missing a beat, Alice replies “May I?”

“No!  You may not, young lady!” Tina retorts.  “Okay, fun time is over!” she says, plucking Alice’s hand off my bum and separating us.  “You can just forget whatever it is you were thinking, and you…”“You need to get some clothes on.  Now!” directed at me,

“Pffftt!!” I stick my tongue out at Tina and turn to leave.  Smack!  OW!! Tina just smacked me on the butt!  Turning back to her, “Oh no!  You did NOT just spank me!” I say in mock anger.  Tina backs up a little.  I advance, head down, eyes narrowed… like a cat advancing on its helpless prey.  Tina lets out a shriek, “Ronnie!  No, baby!” and darts past me, escaping from the kitchen.  I let out an evil laugh…

Muaahh!! Muah!  Ha! Ha!

And the chase begins…..

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