The Selfish One
"Selfish!  Selfish!"  Greg yelled,  waving his golf club around like a
 maniac.  The foursome in front of him  was playing too slowly for his 
purposes and hadn't offered to let him  and his partner walk through.
            "There's that  character again," said one of the men, a 
retired minister.  And the  foursome played on, at the same pace, as if 
Greg didn't even exist.
            Greg  Hoover was indeed a character.  A former alcoholic 
and heroin addict  turned social worker who still gulped down Vicodin by
 the handfuls, he  had picked up the "selfish" concept from Alcoholics 
Anonymous while  trolling for women.  Everybody was just selfish, that 
is if they didn't  do exactly what he expected or wanted them to do.
            His  partner, Ray O'Brian, said "Thanks, Greg.  Now 
they'll just slow down  even more -- on purpose.  You just pissed them 
off."  Ray was one of the  few people Greg had any respect for.  In 
fact, as far as anyone knows,  he was the only person.
            Greg had spent his  youth as a total hedonist.  His life 
revolved around sex and  drugs.  Girls were in and out of his life, but 
none of them meant  anything to him.  Sure, he had some longer 
relationships, three or four  years here and there, but he was never 
monogamous.  Sadly, a few of the  young ladies actually loved him deeply
 in spite of the fact that he was a  narcissistic asshole and treated 
them like slaves.  If ever one strayed  away, he would pursue her as if 
she were the only woman in the world  until she came back,,. just to 
prove he could get her back.
            Thirty  years and two marriages later, Jillian still 
carried a flame for him,  even though he had dumped her for a prostitute
 when she was 19. They had  started dating when she was 14 and he was 
19.  Her father, who must  have been out of his mind himself, let the 
young lovebirds come live  with him after Jillian's mother threatened 
Greg with statutory rape  charges.
            She would speak of him often,  constantly reminding me 
that she had lost her virginity to him.  "He  wrote me the most romantic
 sonnets and read them to me as we sat in our  favorite spot in the 
woods," she would say.  If she had told me that  once, she had told me a
 thousand times.  "He didn't always act like  this," she would 
add.  "It's the drugs; they destroyed his brain."
            "Acting like this" meant pursuing a woman, conquering her, treating her like dirt, then pursuing another woman. 
            "He dumped you for a prostitute, Jillian, " I always reminded her.
            "Oh,  that was later.  We had the best relationship in 
the world for years,"  she explained over and over again.  "He didn't 
start doing stuff like  that until he got into the heroin."
            "Yeah.  Meanwhile  he turned you into a raging alcoholic 
by the age of 17, got you  pregnant and made you get an abortion, and 
talked you out of your dream  of going to college to be a 
veterinarian."  I would tell her.
            The  truth is, in spite of his belief that everyone just 
loved him so, she  was probably the only person in the world who still 
gave a damn about  him.  Not to mention that she was also hooked on 
painkillers, so the two  would share whatever they could get their hands
 on.  All these years  later, it was still about getting fucked up one 
way or another. 
            Greg  was spoiled, but he didn't grow up that way. 
Although his family had  money, a lot of money, his childhood was 
miserable.  Both parents were  simply upper class drunks, with his 
mother throwing in an addiction to  painkillers.  They fought in front 
of him constantly.  Late nights of  drinking and fighting would lead to 
oversleeping; Greg would get up and  go next door, where a kindly 
neighbor would feed him breakfast with her  children and make sure he 
got to school on time. 
            As  he grew older, he adopted his parents ' behaviors, 
and they didn't  notice because they pretty much ignored him 
completely.  By the time  they divorced and, eventually got themselves 
straight, it was too late  for Greg.  He was not only using drugs, but 
also dealing them.  He was,  in fact, the first person in Columbia, 
South Carolina to get arrested  for selling marijuana.   His mother 
ended up worshipping him, but he  didn't give a damn about her.  His 
father despised him for the loser he  had become, yet Greg idolized him.
            But, before  learning any of this information, I was one 
of the women Greg managed  to ensnare. After hearing about me from a 
mutual acquaintance, he  tracked me down through my first husband's 
obituary.  When he told me  this, he laughed and declared, "I'm going 
straight to hell when I die!" 
Oh,  he was charming at first, downright suave.  He wanted to spend 
time  with me; he wanted to spend time with my son.  And, since he 
didn't work  because he had a supposedly hefty trust fund to live off of
 and was  studying for his Social Work degree part time, he had plenty 
of time to  spare. 
            Before long his true colors came  through.  "Will you 
come over and watch a movie with me?"  I would  agree, but then he would
 call back.  "Can you go to Food Lion and get me  some milk, bread, and 
bologna?"  I didn't mind this.  But when he  started demanding I clean 
his house, which never got dirty because he  lived there alone, rarely 
left his bedroom, and never cooked, I was  history, but there was 
something tragic about him that caused me to  remain friends.
            Maybe it was the way he would  lie around in his 
long-dead father's robes and slippers and wear his old  pants to go 
golfing.  Maybe it was the pitiful calls he would make when  he wasn't 
getting attention from anyone.  Or maybe it was just because I  knew he 
was putting on a mask for the rest of the world to hide what he  really 
was - a miserable, lonely, sickly hermit.  Yes, his evil ways  had 
pushed most everyone away at some point.
            Ironically,  however, it was through him that I met 
Jillian, who would become my  best friend, and Ray, who would become my 
husband (much to Greg's  dismay).  He had lost me and was in the process
 of pursuing me again  when I met Ray at his house.   Greg was ill, and I
 had been nice enough  to pick up a prescription for him; Ray was 
dropping off some homemade  chicken noodle soup. 
            Oh, Greg remained a  character in our lives long after 
Ray and I were married.  He may have  lost me, but damn it, he wasn't 
giving up his golfing partner.  Every  Saturday, Greg would take my 
husband for the morning.  According to Ray,  Greg cheated his way 
through every hole.
            "He  must carry 20 clubs in that bag.  The limit is 14," 
Ray came home and  told me one day.  "And he shaves points.  He thinks I
 don't notice."
            "Why don't you call him out on it?"  I asked.  I was in my underwear washing dishes.
            My  husband was kinder than I would have been, saying, 
"Nah, it doesn't  make a difference in his score.  But then, he lies 
about that, too."
            "Doesn't sound like much fun to me," I told Ray, secretly wishing he would just stay home on Saturdays.
            So, Ray continued to play golf with him, religiously.   And the stories came home with him.
            One  of my favorites was about Charles the duck.  I had 
known that Greg took  crackers to the course with him to feed a duck, 
but it was Ray who told  me the whole story. 
            Charles was a duck that  had taken up with the geese on 
the golf course.  Why he didn't like the  other ducks was a mystery, but
 he chose to hang out with the  geese.   Unlike the geese, however, 
Charles liked to beg food off of the  golfers.  Greg claimed full 
responsibility for the naming and taming of  "Charlie," as he called 
him.  But, Greg had to take credit for  everything.  He was insidious on
 so very many levels. 
            Yes,  everything revolved around Greg, at least in his 
own mind.  He would  spend 30 minutes standing in front of the mirror in
 his dark bedroom  trying to arrange his hair just right.  It was fine, 
thin, and, in my  opinion, poorly cut.  No matter what he did to it, it 
looked the  same.  Dull and lifeless.  But, in reality, Greg was dull 
and lifeless,  too.
            Greg's life revolved around a big lie; he  tried to seem 
important, wealthy, and socially liberal.  Outwardly, he  supported 
women's rights, gay rights, and civil rights.  In reality, he  thought 
himself to be superior to all of these groups - and most anybody  else, 
for that matter. 
            One of the most  disgusting things he would do is share 
the stories of his clients with  anyone willing to listen.  He would go 
into vivid detail about their  marital problems, which particularly 
disgusted a psychiatrist he played  golf with from time to time.
            "That's not  right, Greg.  You shouldn't be sharing that 
information with anyone,  even on the premise of getting my feedback.," 
he finally told  him.  After that, he lightened up a little, but not 
completely. 
            When  a man shot his wife and killed his father-in-law in
 a mall parking lot,  he actually called to tell me that they were his 
clients.   I  commented, "Well, it must not have worked out to 
well."  Then I added,  "It's none of my business, anyway" before he 
could go into further  detail.
It was a way to brag on himself, even if he was  failing at the 
counseling.  Of course, we all wondered how a man who had  never been 
married and never had a child had ended up counseling  couples and 
children.  The thought of him advising children and teens  horrified us 
all.
You see, he hated children.  He had no  patience with them 
whatsoever.  If a woman had a child but had somehow  come into his 
sights, it was a strike against her that would eventually  become a 
point of contention.  After all, he wanted undivided attention.
He  attended various churches, not for the fellowship or the 
messages, but  to meet women.  And he looked for the weak and 
vulnerable, as I was when  I met him. Karma is hell, though.  Oh, he 
believed in all that stuff -  karma, transcendental meditation, etc., 
but he didn't practice it.  It  was just another way to be different 
than everyone else.
            Greg  kept coming down with various ailments.  Bizarre 
things, like an ankle  swelling so badly that fluid started to leak 
out.   Whatever pain he  claimed to be in became worse to the point we 
all believed him for a  change. 
            Eventually, he went into renal  failure.  And it was at 
that point he had to admit he had Hepatitis  C.  Still, he lied about 
that.  He would tell one person that he'd known  about it only three 
years, someone else heard him tell a doctor ten . .  . we all wondered 
just when he would start telling the truth.
            But,  when he had found out, he had not gone through the 
treatment because he  had heard it was agonizing.  This may be true, but
 it also saved your  life.  Besides, nothing could compare to the agony 
he went through when  he finally started dying.
            He was in and out of  the hospitals, any hospital, until 
some refused to see him anymore or  give him any more prescriptions.  He
 mainly went in to get painkillers  and tranquilizers and then left 
against medical advice, once wearing  nothing but a hospital gown.
            All of his pride  and vanity were a thing of the past by 
2009.  Oh, he was still mean, and  he would still lie.  Once, while 
recovering from a drug overdose, which  may have been intentional, 
Jillian went to see him in the  hospital.  She said that he would say 
things, some bizarre, and then  add, "You know I'm lying."  She told him
 that he had been lying his  entire life.
            When he was between hospital  visits, he would call us, 
often in the middle of the night, begging for  painkillers or 
tranquilizers.  We didn't have any, and we told him that  
repeatedly.  We finally had to start taking our phone off the hook  
before we went to bed.
            But it was the overdose  that, in a way, caused the 
doctors to feel some mercy.  They had been  limiting his pain medication
 because of his history of addiction and  abuse.  However, while he was 
unconscious, they managed a liver biopsy  and an MRI of his abdomen.  He
 had cancer everywhere.  His pain had been  real.  They kept him there a
 few more days, then released him to go  home with a hospice nurse and 
enough pills to satisfy even him. 
            Jillian  stayed devoted to him.  She became his Power of 
Attorney, Medical Power  of Attorney, and Executrix of his will.  She 
visited almost daily,  bringing groceries, prescriptions (which she was 
helping herself to), or  whatever he needed.  He continued to be mean to
 her, the hospice nurse,  and anyone else trying to help him.
            She did finally ask him, "How long have you really known this, Greg?  That you had Hepatitis C?"
            "Fourteen years," he admitted.
            "So,  you mean to tell me that you have been exposing 
women to this virus for  fourteen years without warning them?  You mean 
you exposed me, too?"
            "It's hard to catch.  The risk is minimal," he replied.
            "I don't care how minimal it is.  That was just wrong!"
            For  the next few months they engaged in this danse 
macabre that was worse  than any soap opera I had ever seen.  They would
 fight, make up, then  fight again.  She would call us, flipping out, 
because of something new  that would crop up - liver failure, fluid in 
his abdomen, and so on.  I  said, "Yes, he's dying.  Things like this 
will happen.  You keep acting  like he will mysteriously recover."  But 
Jillian had to make everything  very dramatic, and she got on everyone's
 nerves doing so.
            Finally,  the time came for inpatient hospice.  In one 
final act of cruelty, he  forbid Jillian to see him.  He ordered the 
staff not to give her any  information.  She wouldn't know anything 
until it was over and she would  take over as Executrix. 
            For three days, she  was nearly out of her mind.  She did
 get reports from a few friends that  dropped in to see him, but, sure 
enough, she didn't hear from the  facility until December 26, 2010.  He 
had died, heavily medicated and  resting comfortably.
            I  attended Greg's funeral, along with maybe 30 other 
people who felt like  they needed to make an appearance.  Only one 
cousin showed up; the rest  of his family didn't seem to care about 
anything until they heard that  they were not in his will.  Then they 
demanded this and that, sued the  estate, called Jillian and blamed her 
for things - you name it.  And, as  mad as I was at him for all that 
he'd done to people, especially  knowingly exposing women to Hep C, I 
felt sorry for him.  This was the  family that produced the wickedness 
that was Greg Hoover.
 
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